


Chocolate Cycles of Doom

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-05
Updated: 2007-02-05
Packaged: 2019-01-19 03:11:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12401874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: What happens when romance goes awre for James and he finds himself at the oppisite end of a slammed door? He brings out the chocolate of course! Rated for mild language like if you blink you'll miss it.





	Chocolate Cycles of Doom

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

 Disclaimer; If Harry Potter were mine all the boys in the movies would appear by dropping from trees. Sigh.

A/n Incase you can't tell I was going through major chocolate withdrawl. So to take my mind off chocolate I wrote about chocolate. Yeah like that worked.

The Chocolate Cycle of Doom

“Just let me ex-"

“NO!” She slammed the door in James' face.

“C’mon. I brought chocolate.”

The door jerked open and a very cross Lily glared at him. “You brought chocolate! _Chocolate!_ You are such an idiot!”

“What? I thought you liked chocolate. Don’t girls love chocolate?”

“That’s beside the point. You can’t just thrust chocolate at a girl and expect it to make things all better!”

“But I thought that was what girls always say, that chocolate makes everything better,” he said, thrusting a box of chocolates at her.

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.”

She shoved the box back at him. “Chocolate is a time honored tradition. You can’t just eat it on a whim. You have to understand the bittersweet relationship between chocolate and women.”

“Oh, God,” he said in a longsuffering tone. She glared daggers at him.

“Well, you wanted to know. You see, chocolate can make any woman feel happy at almost any given time. It’s one of the best stress relievers known to man (besides Ben and Jerry’s), but the bitter truth is that if not taken sparingly, it can lead to a vicious cycle of doom. Eating chocolate relieves stress, but eating too much makes you fat. Which makes you even more stressed out, then when you eat chocolate to relieve that stress you get even fatter, and then you’re stuck forever in the chocolate cycle of doom.”

“I get it, I get it. Just eat the damn chocolate.”

“I blame you for this, you know.”

“I think I can forgive myself.”

“So when I’m ugly and fat, know it’s because of you.”

“Yes, I know. Just eat it.” He rolled his eyes and handed her a piece.

She grabbed it from him and took a bite, her eyes informing him that he should be dead by now. “I hate you. I could never ever like you. I don’t see how anyone can think I’d ever in a millions years like you.”

“Finally we agree on something.”

He shoved her against the door and took greedily from her mouth, all of his pent-up emotions and unacknowledged want coming out in this one kiss.

“You kissed me!” she accused when he allowed her to have her lips back.

“Anything to shut you up.”

A/N: Hope you liked it and please review. Or flame, really--I just want some feedback. 


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